Biography

When I was 4 years old my sister Kim was born. I was very proud to have a younger sister. Mom and Dad were very involved in every aspect of our lives. Even with the extra jobs, working midnight, and lack of sleep, he would always find a way to come to our games or other functions. Dad taught me just about everything I know today. In kindergarten he watched me get bullied coming home from school one day. We had a boxing lesson that night and I was told if that happened to me again I was to "defend myself". The next day dad was watching out the window and watched me win my first fight. He talked about it for the next 35 years.

He got me involved in Judo, where just about every weekend we would drive somewhere in Oklahoma or a surrounding state for a tournament. I was able to win 3 State Championships and the Junior Olympics. Dad and my sister also won several trophies. I became bored with judo and dad supported me with every other sport I wanted to do. From baseball, football, etc. His favorite was wrestling. He was at every dual and tournament. The joke was that he would get more of a workout than I would, twist around in the stands as if it would help me.

For some reason I wanted to become a bull rider. At 15 years of age I entered my first rodeo. I told dad about it and we both decided we should keep this from mom. Mom did find out and did not like it at all. During high school, mom and dad were taking a trip to Vegas, and she forbids me to ride that weekend. When she got out of ears shot dad just told me to be careful. Friday night I got bruised up pretty bad but nothing broken, mom would never know. Sunday at another rodeo I took a serious injury involving a horn, (Mom and dad almost had two daughters). Dr.'s and hospitals were also involved. When they got home I told dad, and I was thinking that I was home free, with mom not finding out. I kept my clothes that I continued to bleed through, medical papers and medicine hid behind a blanket in my closet. Mom got cold and found my blanket along with everything else. When I got home dad met me at the front door. I could hear her in the background. Dad told me she was MAD; he would hold her off as long as he could and for me to stay elsewhere this weekend. Dad always took care of me. I drew that same bull my senior year. This time I took a first on him and kept me (for a short while) # 1 in the Oklahoma standings with Lane Frost #2. Lane became a World Champion, and was killed riding. The movie 8 Seconds was based on his life.

I kept riding bulls in college. People I knew and traveled with were getting killed and paralyzed. I was going Northeastern State University for criminal justice so I could be a Police Officer, like dad. For the first time he let me know that I was not invincible, and that I could become injured and not be fit to be a Police Officer. I quit that year (1993) and gave him my last trophy buckle.

I got married in 1983. On June 3, 1988, I had my first daughter and mom and dad's first grandchild, Sarah Jo Bayles. My second daughter Stephanie Ann Bayles was born on April 19, 1991. My Dad was the proudest grandfather I have ever seen. He loved all his grandchildren very much. Like with my sister and me he was at every event they had. He bought a boat and a trailer at the lake and would take them out every weekend during the summer, teaching them to fish, ski, and just enjoy life.

I became a Broken Arrow Police Officer in 1984. It was a great department with good Officers but they wore blue. If I was to be like dad, I needed to wear green like him and become a Tulsa Police Officer. I became a Tulsa Police Officer in 1985. I have enjoyed my career here. I was fortunate to have been a part of the Special Operations Team (SOT), for 5 years, a street crimes investigator, and a member of the Honor Guard for over 10 years. I am currently assigned as the Sgt. for the 1st shift Major Crimes Unit, where I have been for the last 5 years. Our assignment is to conduct the scene investigation on homicides, suicides, shootings, etc.

I was divorced in 1993. Dad saw that this was tough on me and took me on our first of many trips, to his favorite spot in the world, Las Vegas. Dad is still taking care of me. I carry a casino chip from the last table we played together.

With the divorce came another dilemma. What to do now. They were opening a hockey rink in Tulsa. I saw part of a game once and there were a lot of pretty fans. I called the rink and asked if they were giving lessons, no but the league was starting up tomorrow, and they had an opening on a team. Ok, sign me up. I called my friend Gary Atkinson who had played as a kid. I borrowed and bought some gear and I had him explain the rules to me. I also made him take me ice-skating. I had ice skated once in high school. The next day I took my gear to dad's house and showed him. I told him I was going to be a hockey player, and my career started tonight. He reminded me that I was 31 years old and that I was going to get killed. He then went with me to support me in my first game.

Hockey has been one of the best things of my life. I wish I could say I was good at it but somebody who has seen me play might read this. I play for a local bar called the 71st Street Depot. We play men's league and tournaments. Last year march 2003 we won a second place in Las Vegas. Dad did not feel up to coming to that tournament but had been to several other tournaments.

I got into bicycling because of hockey. I was fortunate enough to play on a team with the retired NHL (Toronto Maple leafs) Larry McIntyre. He thought biking might help my legs. I began riding Freewheel, a weeklong ride from Texas through Oklahoma, ending in Kansas. It spans as many as 500 miles. Dad would wonder why I spent so much time on a bike, but he came and visited camp, and drove to pick me up in Kansas

Not only did hockey get me into bicycling, but it got me married for the second time. I was dating another girl when Tammie and her friend came to watch a friend from work play. Tammie and her friend sat by my girlfriend. During warm-ups I would hit the puck into the glass to startle my girlfriend. Tammie must have thought I was flirting at her and told her friend "that's the guy I am going to marry". (I mentioned there were good looking girls at hockey games). Six months later my girlfriend and I broke up and Tammie and I started dating. Dad liked her right away.

Dad wanted to go to Vegas, and Tammie had never been, so we decided to all go. The first night dad drove us downtown and Tammie saw the wedding chapels. What was I to do? A beautiful girl proposed to me, I had hit a lucky machine, we had drunk a few beers, and the Dallas Stars were winning game 7 of the Stanley cup. "It was in the stars". We were on the way downtown when I had dad stop at a drug store so I could get a camera. I then had him stop at the marriage license building. I told him we would be a second and we returned with a license. Dad and mom were shocked but happy. Mom was our maid of honor and my best friend (Dad) was my best man.

Tammie was told she could not have children. I fell for that one. A few months' later dad and I were back in Vegas. I called Tammie and told her the plane was not on time and that we would be late. She informed me that she was also. August 8th 2000 I scored my hat trick. 3 girls in 3 decades (80's, 90's and now 00's) Dad was just as proud of Samantha Joann Bayles as he was with his other grandchildren. Sam was just 1 when dad found he had cancer. He would play with her and they would aggravate each other. He told me he wanted to live long enough to see her play sports. She was shy of her third birthday, when he died. Shortly after his death mom had bought some balloons for a friend's birthday. She was watching Samantha and had left her alone for a second. When she returned she could not find the balloons. She questioned two year-old about where they were. Sam took her outside, pointed to the sky and told her she had given them to Papaw.

As with most boys, my dad was my hero when I was a child. The difference is that the older I became the more of a hero he was to me. As I grew up I wanted to be just like him. When I grew up he was not only my hero but also my best friend. I relied on dad for every major decision in my life. If something would bother me he would be there for me day or night. I would rather just hang out with dad than do anything else in the world. I found out that I was not the only person who relied heavily on dad. Not only family members, but also people I never met were constantly calling for advice from dad.

I have met 3 great men in my life, Lane Frost, Garth Brooks, and Dad. These men were not great because they excelled in their profession, but because of the way they lived their lives, and cared for others. As good as he was, I would watch Lane Frost giving help to even the most rookie bull riders, and you could tell he cared about each one. I have been fortunate to meet and visit with Garth Brooks, and to watch him interact with people. I could tell that everybody he talked to left with a felling that they were the special one. Not only was dad a great Police Officer, but I could never go anywhere with dad that people didn't stop us and want to talk with dad. I would not know if we had just talked with an ex-bank robber or the president of a bank.

Garth gave me a very special present one-day. Dad was very proud for me. I thanked Garth telling him that it was the neatest gift I had ever been given. After dad got cancer I again thanked Garth, but this time not for the gift but something that was even greater. He had taken the time to encourage dad and dad was so lifted and proud of their friendship. I will never receive a greater gift. Sandy Brooks was also a good friend to dad. She took time to visit with him and sent him cards of encouragement. She and her daughters attended dad's funeral. I felt so humbled and wanted to do something for her for the way she had lifted dad's spirits. What could I do to repay these people whom with their acts of genuine concern and kindness, which had lifted dad so high? I asked her what I could do to repay that. I received an answer from her heart. She stated I did not need to do anything that she was the honored one because dad had allowed her to be his friend. I asked Garth if it would be ok to use a picture that I had taken of him and dad for this site. He stated that he "would be honored". I had several friends come up to me at the funeral and say that when we were growing up they had wished Dad was their dad. Dad was there for all of us.

When I first became a Police Officer, someone made the statement that if I was half the Officer Dad was I would be a good Officer. That's a given. If I could be half the father he was my girls would be the luckiest kids on earth.

The last thing dad ever said to me was "Joey I love you". He then became to weak to talk. He held on past father's day and one day past my anniversary, (where just 4 years ago he had been my best man) but soon even this hero could no longer fight. Dad, mom, my sister and I were going to be together for the last time. We held his hand and looked in his eyes. He looked like he wanted to talk, but could not. We were all telling him how much we loved him. I knew he was worried about mom and us. I told him not to worry about anything but getting well. I told him that I would take care of everything and again told him all he needed to worry about was getting well. One last breath and he was gone. I do not know if he was waiting on reassurance to go, but the fear that I had since I could remember had just happened, and how could anybody take care of anything like Dad?.

There is no way to describe the feelings I went through. I guess we deal with things in our own way. The feeling of grief was unbelievable. A sense of helplessness that got worse from the day he was diagnosed, to the day he died, and continues to grow. But the feeling that I did not expect was that of pure anger. I became angry at everything and everybody. I could just look at people and become mad at them; because they still had their dad and I did not. I hadn't touched my bike in 2 years, since dad got cancer. The last place I wanted to be was out riding a bike. My good friend and riding partner Denny McDonald invited me to go hang out with him while he rode on the Hotter than Hell 100. A hundred mile bike ride in Wichita Falls Texas, during the hottest part of the year. I got my bike down just in case I wanted to ride around. I ended up riding a 50 mile ride. I talked to a guy who told me about the Lance Armstrong Foundation and the "Ride for the Roses". I became pumped; maybe this was a way to get rid of some of these helpless feelings. Maybe I could do something. Friends had been trying to talk me into getting rid of my old bike. I bought a new Cannondale the day after we got back. I signed up for the Peliton Project in the Lance Armstrong Foundation (LAF). I trained hard riding when I woke up in the evening till I had to go to work at night. I soon found out I was getting too tired to be as angry as I had been. Mom and I found a picture we liked of dad and I sent it in for a memoriam I was going to ride in memory of dad. I had not known what I could do for Garth Brooks for being so good to my dad, but I could now ride for his mother also and had my sister let him know.

My wife and I drove down to Austin. The morning of the ride was cold, windy, rainy, and miserable. I was overwhelmed. The amount of riders, survivors and volunteers, was staggering. I lined up next to a guy who told me he had ridden in this a few years ago, but later got diagnosed with testicular cancer. He was riding now for the first time as a cancer survivor. I talked to people who had lost their father or mother to cancer, and were drawn to this like I was. Lance Armstrong addressed us, and soon we were in a staggered start. I couldn't help but just ride think of dad and cry.

I was very impressed with Jodi Messina, who had run the 5K the day earlier, went to perform, flew back, and rode the ride. Now she was singing for us.

I told Tammie I was going to do this right next year and try to raise all the money I could for these people, and this worthy cause. I received Lance Armstrong's books for Christmas. "It's Not About the Bike" (If his author ever needs a new book, I have enough about dad to write "It's not about the bike, it's about my dad"). I knew Lance Armstrong was a stud. But reading his book showed he went through the same stuff dad did.

I know part of me is riding this ride for some selfish reasons. I want to honor my father, and keep that feeling that I can't do anything, at bay. I also believe in this foundation and want to help raise as much money as I can to help them help others. I went on the ride and rode for two people last year. When I talk to people about dad, and cancer it is inevitable that they or someone they love has had cancer. I tell them about this foundation, the ride and let them know I am going to ride for them this year also.